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if microsoft had been in charge of the Apollo Program

After writing my previous entry on how Microsoft keeps comparing itself to the Apollo Program, I thought I'd write one of those extrapolations of "What if ...". So here goes:

  • At random intervals you get messages that say "Fuel is low. (Eject) (No) (Cancel)". You always press Cancel, and nothing seems to happen.
  • While typing in commands to run a check on the life support systems, a voice would suddenly interrupt you, saying: "It seems you want to write a letter to a man named O2. Would you like help? (Yes) (No) (Cancel)". Angry, you select Cancel. This cancels the offers but also shuts down one of the engines, which will never start again.
  • Nearing the completion of the first part of the trip, you get a message that says "A new flight plan is available for download, with many fixes. Would you like to install the new flight plan? (Yes) (No) (Cancel)" You select Yes. All systems on the spaceship shut down. You are cold and miserable for six hours. Finally, when they do start again, there's a new message that says "To use this flight plan the trip has to be restarted. Press Ok to return to earth (Ok)."
  • After restarting the trip and nine days of randomly roaming through space, movement stops. There is an announcement: "Destination Achieved: The Moon". You look out the window, and you see that you're stranded on a random asteroid.

  • On the asteroid, repairs are performed by a swarm of Microsoft lawyers, which are carried on the outside of the ship (hanging from leather-alloy briefcases) and can operate unprotected in the freezing vacuum of space, only requiring as sustenance large amounts of cash, preferably US Dollars, although they can also survive on Euro and Yen.

  • The journey wouldn't end with a landing. It would end with a crash.

Derivative? Certainly. Well, at least I vented a bit. Writing is good release, even if it's bad writing. :-)

Categories: technology
Posted by diego on January 17 2003 at 1:43 PM

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