Now blogging at diego's weblog. See you over there!

per-coffeemug is better

Don is thinking about filing "per-chair, per-desk, and per-floormat software pricing methods" in response to Sun's per-employee software pricing patent.

Don, patents are serious stuff, and you're foolish in not taking them seriously. I wish you would. The growth of patents such as these should be not just accepted but applauded. I am thus compelled to reply. If my language appears overly circuitous, it is only because I avoid vitriol through an overextended misuse of formalisms. Which also excuses this redundant explanation.

I was saying.

Patents provide "glory" as the article says, and this is for a good and simple reason: patents are the work of Heroes. Paraphrasing attorney-at-law Lionel Hutz: "I don't use the word Hero very often. But patent applicants are among some of the greatest American heroes of all time."

Let me, Don, also point out some of the problems in your childish proposal.

First, floormats are not common in software development environments.

Carpets, maybe. But not floormats.

And something else: what is up with static electricity and carpets? It hurts when I touch metallic stuff and the spark or whatever goes off. I wish that would stop. Can't we invent a system to make electricity only come from some kind of socket on walls or something?

But I digress.

Second point: many programmers share desks. How are you, Don, going to get around that? How about when a chair breaks?

Third, I am already filing per-coffeemug patents which will box in youir per-chair and per-floormat patents in no time.

Per-coffeemug is also superior to per-employee, which is login based. Users are very protective of their coffee mugs, more than they are of their login/password combinations.

I will soon have the world-wide market on software pricing patents cornered. I will then sell the license at a fair price (reference for that can be the price of a box of Windows XP for example) and use the proceeds to purchase a coconut farm on an island in the Caribbean (preferably one that comes with monkey-butlers).

PS: I am also patenting this blog entry. Just in case.

Categories: technology
Posted by diego on October 1 2004 at 2:58 PM

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